If someone directed you to the site chick.com, you'd probably think they were peddling some lascivious site with scantily-clad ladies of ill repute. Oh, if only that were the case. You see, Chick Publications, Inc. is actually a Protestant fundamentalist organization that puts out all those crazy little religious comic books that fanatics screaming on street corners hand out to passersby, or leave in public places like bathroom stalls. These wacko "cartoon tracts" are designed to deride evils like the Roman Catholic Church, Islam, homosexuality, Halloween, Dungeons & Dragons, and many other perceived evils that founder Jack T. Chick disagrees with, and to shock readers into converting to Christianity. My personal favorite is the 
tract entitled "Fairy Tales", in which a boy's parents tell him insidious lies like the tooth fairy, Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus exist. One day some of his classmates tell him that there is no Santa Claus and that his parents lied to him, so this enraged 8-year-old promptly kills the two offending boys. Ho, ho, ho, bitches! Then while in juvenile hall, he strangles his cellmate to death! After being released from prison at the age of 18, the boy ends up on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted List for unnamed heinous crimes, and his picture appears right next to none other than Osama Frickin' Bin Laden! Long story short, the kid is eventually executed without ever repenting. Burn motherfucka, burn!
You may have also come across these crazy mailings from Saint Matthew's Churches, which is a mail-based ministry run by a former tent minister who made his fortune writing religious fundraising letters that promise personal gain and financial rewards if the recipient of the letter mails back some moolah. The organization earned $6 million a month in 2007, which founder James Eugene "Gene" Ewing puts to good use furnishing his $2.2 million, 6,400-square-foot home above Beverly Hills. Wait---before you become indignant over this seeming extravagance, understand that Ewing only bought the house to "glorify God". The letter I received from Ewing's organization even included testimonials from believers (a.k.a.- stoopid dickwads) who attributed their financial gain to divine influence. For instance, "A.H.W" from New Jersey writes "[the Lord] blessed me with exactly $3,000." Hey "A.W.H.", are scratch-off tickets in the Garden State considered to be instruments of "[the Lord]"? "A.B." from Tennessee writes "...The Lord financially blessed me with a sum of money in the amount of $10,390.32...May God bless you all forever." Is that before or after taxes? And finally, "A.P.", also from Tennessee (which evidently is a favorite hangout for God and Son) writes "I will receive $24,750.00...May God bless you all..." Yeah, that is if that embezzlement scheme goes off without a hitch.
It's crazy shit like this that is causing an increasingly secularized nation to gravitate further towards a state of disbelief. In the meantime, don't go lying to your kid about Santa Claus, lest you spawn the next Charles Manson or something.
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