Plastic In the Afterlife

WTF?!? Dolphins Don't Like Raves!

Two dolphins died at the Swiss marine park Connyland after a two-day rave was held just yards from the dolphin's pool.  Evidently dolphins don't like house music.  Not only were these poor dolphins subjected to noise levels measured at 100 decibels (equivalent to "a pneumatic drill on top volume"), but there is a possibility that some of the ravers may have put some elicit drugs in their pool.  I guess they thought the dolphins would have a nice "trip", but the only trip they got was to dolphin heaven. 

It turns out that since 2003, Connyland had 24 out of 36 dolphins either go belly-up or their fate is "unknown".  Unknown?  Better check out the tuna canning plant down the street on those ones.The two most recent deaths of the dolphins Shadow and Chelmers are the seventh and eighth dolphins to go to Davey Jones' locker at Connyland in the past three years.

If you're interested, sign this petition from Change.org to close down Connyland.  Oh, and put away your pacifiers and glow sticks---all future raves at Connyland have been postponed indefinitely. 

Proof that George W. Bush really was a cokehead!

Bush handed out 14 pardons, but the pardon of convicted drug dealer John Forte has many scratching their heads.  Not me, though.  You see, good 'ol W was simply paying back his old "hook up" for all the good times they had back in the day.  John Forte, former Fugees songwriter and producer, was arrested in 2000 for accepting a briefcase full of 31 pounds of liquid cocaine.  Nothing like an ice cold coke on a hot day, eh?  Anyway, Bush commuted Forte's 14 year prison term---just in time for Bush's departure from office!  Let's just say there will be some high-flyin' times at the ranch come January!