Plastic In the Afterlife

The Word "Muslim" is a "metaphor for racism"?

Amid a "firestorm" of controversy, President Obama finally released the long form version of his birth certificate, proving that he is---gasp!---in fact, an American citizen!  Dumbass attention hog Donald Trump trumpeted his self-gratification and pride at having "accomplished something nobody else has accomplished...I am really honored to have played such a big role in hopefully getting rid of this issue."  You the fuckin' man.  Please, please, please run for president---the GOP needs you!

In a recent Associated Press article, Charles Babington cited a new New York Times-ABC News poll in which 2/3 of adult Republicans "either embrace or are open to" the false claim that Obama is a foreigner.   ABC News pollster Gary Langer thinks that the real reason some people polled claimed that they believed in the birther issue is because "Some people who strongly oppose a person...will take virtually any opportunity to express that antipathy."  I do see what Langer is saying.  I know some people who don't like Obama, not only for his politics, but also because the man himself makes them uncomfortable, as if having a man of color in the highest public office in the nation makes some white people feel as if they're "losing ground" and need to regain this ground at any cost. 

 In a roundtable discussion Easter Sunday on This Week, ABC reporter Cokie Roberts and a team of panelists had, what I like to call "A Jerry McGuire Moment"---that is, they said what many people think, but do not have the balls to say, because once you say it, you get neutered.  So, what was their "Jerry McGuire Moment"?  It was that people's objection to Obama is often times a reflection of deep-seeded or even just-under-the-surface racism and xenophobia.  Panelist Steven Roberts said during the discussion that: "The word Muslim is a code word, and it's a metaphor. It's a metaphor for racism. It's a metaphor for he's different from us, he's not like us, he's got this funny name, which he says all the time. And it is - and he's an alien on some level...there has always been a strain of America that wants to exclude the other. Exclude someone who's different..."  Cokie Roberts added: "But...the bad part about this is that...it's acceptable to say that he's a Muslim...because the same people won't - won't say, 'I don't like him cause he's black.' " 

Now pause a second to listen for the gasps and outcries of shock and admonition.  Then wait a bit longer for the predictable network reproaches and apologies, accompanied by statements of remorse by the panelists in question.  Finally, take a step back and take a look at yourself and think about the people you've encountered in your life.  Think about all of the times you yourself have held a bias against someone because of some perceived or real difference.  Maybe you or people around you teased someone in your school days because that person was obese, very tall, very short, too white, too dark, had a speech impediment, wore the wrong clothes, had a strange name, was very poor or rich, etc.  People are devisive.  People take note of differences, and some people are uncomfortable with those who are not like them.  Being able to tell the difference between things and people is a necessary survival skill, like knowing to eat those berries, but not those other berries because they're poisonous.  But being that we are endowed with the ability to "reason", the perception of those differences between people can be skewed to fit that person's perception of the world.  As they say, "perception is reality".

So, let's not get all huffy-puffy about what was said in the program "This Week".  This birther issue, along with the Christian-or-Muslim issue, are just a reflection of the larger issue of fear/hate of "the other".  Noel Sheppard, who writes for "Newsbusters" (whose byline reads: "Exposing and Combating Liberal Media Bias"), wrote in response to the "This Week" discussion: "Calling Americans racist, despite there being an African-American in the White House, is acceptable on Easter Sunday.  I doubt I'm the only one that felt this was highly inappropriate on such a holy day."  Some play "the race card", some play the "religious holier-than-thou card"---I prefer to throw down the "truth hurts card".  No, not that all Americans are racist---that wasn't what they were saying.  But, having watched enough videos from the 2008 election in which people at McCain-Palin rallies spewed racist and xenophobic slurs about Obama, and having seen videos of Tea Party rallies where like comments were also in abundance, in addition to national polls (such as the aforementioned one) which reveal pervasive and persistent adherence to falsehoods, even in the clear light of the truth, it is then accurate to say that some Americans are, in fact, afraid of those who are not like them, and sometimes for those Americans, it goes far beyond simple politics.

 

Even Rats Leave a Sinking Ship...

As countries across the Middle East explode in protest against existing regimes, we are sure to see some strange political moves and countermoves over the next few months and years.  Libya is the latest Middle Eastern nation to be rocked by the tidal wave of political unrest, and in that wave, some of Qaddafi's former political supporters are jumping ship, leaving the captain to go down with the vessel.

Libya's deputy U.N. ambassador, Ibrahim O. Dabbashi, along with a dozen other Libyan U.N. colleagues denounced and disowned Colonel Qaddafi's regime, which has reigned over Libya for over 40 years. Dabbashi called for a "no-fly zone" to be established over Libya to prevent military aid to be flown into Libya to assist Qaddafi in his quest to crush protests.  Dabbashi also called for the International Crimes Court at the Hague to investigate Colonel Qaddafi for “crimes against humanity and crimes of war”, in addition to requesting that other nations not offer him a safe haven. 

However, Dabbashi and colleagues such as Libya's U.S. Ambassador Ali Aujali refused to resign, as did other Libyan regime members, opting instead to retain their positions.  Dabbashi said he and his U.N. colleagues "were not resigning because they served the people of Libya and not the regime."  He further added that,"This is in fact a declaration of war against the Libyan people...The regime of Gadhafi has already started the genocide against the Libyan people."  Ambassador Aujali explained to the Associated Press "that he was not resigning his post, because he is part of the 'good side' of the Libyan government and not part of the killing."

Now, I understand that just because you work for a jerk, it doesn't, ergo, make you a jerk by association; however, it is likely that Dabbashi and Aujali got their political positions only through political favors paid to Qaddafi or through familial connections.  This level of nepotism does speak, then, to the fact that these said politicians were well aware of Qaddafi's prior "crimes against humanity", as he had more than 40 years in which to commit them, and thus are complicit in his reign of terror.  

One could argue that these politicians were only accepting their posts in the fear that if they did not they would be considered traitorous and would be endangering themselves and their families.  While that may be partly true, to rise to the level of ambassador, you had to be pretty cozy with the Q-Man prior to your appointment.  Also, these guys were the spokespersons, the cheerleaders, if you will, of Qaddafi's policies and practices for years.  I'm sure in statements previous to the Libyan uprisings, Dabbashi's and Aujali's words were most complimentary and supportive of their great leader Qaddafi's ideas and actions.  

No matter how you slice it, you can't speak out of both sides of your mouth and not come off like a total hypocrite; a hypocrite who very much benefitted from Qaddafi's favor.  Thus, one can not have been a part of a despotic regime, and all at once, suddenly against it and "with the people".  The people of Libya deserve a clean-sweep, and that includes the sweeping out such self-serving turncoats as Dabbashi, Aujali and their ilk. 

Vancouver Olympic Opening Ceremonies: The Beauty of Imperfection

There was a good reason for the sweat on Wayne Gretzky's upper lip and for the wider-than-wide "what the fuck is going on" shit-eating grin on Steve Nash's face as they stood in the center of the indoor Olympic stadium waiting for the Olympic Cauldron to rise from the stadium floor.  Ahem, I said, "To rise from the stadium floor!"  Um...is something wrong?

When three giant pillars that resembled ice shards emerged from the floor, with the main cauldron itself rising in the center, it became readily apparent that the fourth pillar had malfunctioned and was not going to be making an appearance.  Nope, there was no hiding this kind of snafu.  I'm sure the creative director responsible for this spectacle was furiously pushing buttons and pulling levers behind the scenes, and, after changing his pants, slowly resigned himself to the fact that things were not going to go as planned and just said, "Fuck it." 

Hey, the way I look at it, you have to give these folks a pass.  The opening ceremonies were stunning and classy, complete with some truly poignant moments, like when there was a minute of silence for the Georgian luge slider who was killed when he had lost control of his sled during a test run and was hurled into the railing at 95 miles an hour.  You could have heard a pin drop in that stadium of 60,000 people as the Canadian and Olympic flags were lowered to half-mast in honor of the fallen athlete. 

So what if one of the pillars didn't work?  If anything, I feel that the fallen pillar was a fitting, albeit unintentional symbol for the fallen Georgian athlete.  Also, I think that the malfunction and the death of the Georgian athlete prove that things do not always go as planned, and that sometimes you have to just carry on with things as they are, because that's as good as it's going to get at the moment.  In that spirit, the assembled torchbearers gathered together to light the Olympic Cauldron in unison, even though it was not in its fully-intended form.  Also in the spirit of carrying on in the face of adversity, the remaining Georgian athletes, who had considered going home after their shocking tragedy, collectively decided to compete in this year's games to honor not only their fallen comrade, but also the Olympic spirit.

Kudos to the people of Canada and the world for a great opening ceremony.  I can only hope that this mix of mishaps and moments of near-perfection will remind all of us that we all are imperfect, but in recognizing this reality, we can still strive to be the best we can be in all that we do in life.  GO OLYMPICS!!!     

WTF?!? How does Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi still have a job?

Is Italy a sexist nation that openly engages in the exploitation of its women?  Well, having traveled through Italy I know that it was not uncommon to see racks full of magazines and newspapers plastered with pictures of scantily-dressed (or naked) women.  These fine publications were in full display and they weren't of the Playboy or Penthouse variety---these were regular news magazines and newspapers.  Sex sells, right?  Take, for example, this collection of ads from the Italian clothier Relish Clothing that depict policemen roughing up young female "suspects".  These ads were plastered on billboards all over Italy---yes, even the one of a cop grinding a woman's face into the pavement.   These ads went even farther into the depiction of violence and degradation of women than did the 2007 "gang rape" ad by Italian clothing designers Dolce & Gabbana.  Sure, companies often try to "push the envelope" when it comes to sexy advertisements, but most are contained within the pages of magazines---not on billboards for all to see.    

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been implicated in various political and sexual scandals in his tenure.  His second wife is divorcing him and claimed that he "consorts with minors".  His other alleged sexual exploits include having sex with a prostitute after a party and having a relationship with an 18 year-old underwear model.  In addition, Berlusconi faces a bribery trial hearing and is being investigated for possible connections to the Mafia.  Despite these and other scandals, Berlusconi has not suffered much politically and maintains great popularity among Italians.  Berlusconi has claimed publicly that he is "no saint" and remains unrepentant over his transgressions. 

Berlusconi is also a brazen sexist pig, who has repeatedly publicly degraded women.  In an NPR story on Berlusconi, they cite many of his horrifically tasteless quotes, such as this one in which he states that "Women are 'God's most beautiful gift to men.' In order to prevent rape, 'we would need as many soldiers as there are beautiful Italian women.' "  The report also cites how "Berlusconi, 73, boasts of the good looks of his party's young female members of parliament, dismissing the opposition ranks as menopausal."  In response to charges that he slept with a prostitute, Berlusconi retorted: "For those who love to conquer, the joy and the most beautiful satisfaction is in the conquest. If you have to pay, what joy is there?" As if that wasn't enough, Berlusconi called in to a talk show and said to female opposition parliament member, Rosy Bindi, "You're more beautiful than you are intelligent." 

So, you may be saying to yourself, "How the fuck does this corrupt sexist idiot not only still have a job, but also enjoy widespread popularity?"  Well, I guess as in advertising, sex sells.  Prime Minister Berlusconi may not be a "saint", but that is evidently what many find appealing about this man.  In some respects, one can see some parallels between Berlusconi and Bill Clinton in regards to their personal-made-public foibles.  It's great theatre---or at least a national trashy soap opera.  That's why talk shows like Maury Povich and reality shows like Big Brother exist---who can truly not rubberneck when they pass a car crash? 

 Anyway, to further heighten the absurd seeming approval of Berlusconi, the Italian edition of Rolling Stone magazine declared this man their "Rock Star of the Year".  Rock star?  I thought this guy was an elected leader of a powerful European nation?  Rolling Stone editor Carlo Antonelli says that the editorial staff unanimously nominated Berlusconi because he has the "lifestyle worth of the greatest rock star" and that "Rod Stewart, Brian Jones, Keith Richards in their prime were schoolboys compared to him."  Well, I wish I could say "ROCK ON!" to this ridiculous choice, but the only thing that can be said is "Walk on", as in "walk on out of office, you sexist pig."  

  

Obama slays (mostly Republicans) at the White House Correspondents Dinner

I think President Obama has a future in stand-up comedy after his term is up.  Obama laid down the laugh-inducing lumber at the recent White House Correspondents Dinner.  One of his opening jokes was how "All of you voted for me...apologies to the Fox table."  He remarked how his wife, Michelle, has the "Right to bare arms", as a reference to the recent attention her well-toned sleeveless appendages have been receiving in the press.  He gave a "shout out" to GOP Chairman Michael Steele, by saying that Steele was "in the house tonight, or as he would say 'In the heezey'."  To that Obama then added, "Whazzup?"  He then told Steele that "The Republican Party does not qualify for a bailout" and that "Rush Limbaugh does not count as a troubled asset."  Obama even ripped on those in his administration, saying of former rival Hillary Clinton that she had wooed Senator Arlen Specter away from the Republican party by whispering to him, "Arlen, you know what I always say, 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.'" 

Perhaps my favorite quip of the night was when Obama said that Dick Cheney was supposed to be in attendance, but he was busy working on his memoirs, "tentatively titled 'How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People' ".  Now, maybe that's the "Slam Dunk" former CIA Director George Tenet was referring to!

     

I Was There: The 2009 Presidential Inauguration

I was fortunate to attend the historic 2009 Presidential Inauguration and came away with quite an experience.  First of all, how many of you have ever been in a crowd of over one million people at one time in one place?  How about over one million people who are on their best behavior, resulting in no major incidents or arrests?  It was like everyone had decided to follow the advice that their mothers always given them about being kind and generous to others---it was just weird (and uplifting as well).   

On Sunday, I and nearly half a million people attended a free concert at the Lincoln Memorial and were able to hear actors and celebrities such as Tom Hanks, Samuel L. Jackson, Martin Luther King III, Denzel Washington, Mariesa Tomei, and Tiger Woods speak.  We were also treated to musical performances by artists such as Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Garth Brooks, Sheryl Crow, Jon Bon Jovi, U2, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, John Mellancamp, Shakira, James Taylor, and many others!  

On inauguration day itself, we spilled off the subway and joined the thousands of people walking through the streets of Washington, D.C., en route to the National Mall.  There were people of all races and ages walking practically shoulder-to-shoulder down the city streets, and it was quite the sight to see.  I remember seeing an elderly African-American lady being pushed in a wheelchair by her son, and I remember thinking, "Good for you, ma'am."  When we finally staked out a place next to the Washington Monument, we were a good distance from the actual site of the inauguration, but still surrounded by the excitement of it.  It was especially neat to hear the words of Barack Obama bouncing off of the stone walls of the Washington Monument, reverberating his words from the present into the pages of history. 

If there's any impression that will stick with me from this experience, it's the predominance of African-American people that crowded the mall on that Tuesday, and just how hopeful and jubilant their faces were.  Many were reduced to tears as the new President was sworn in, and I can only imagine the reasons for their emotional outpourings.  It is quite the coincidence that Barack Obama's swearing in occurred just one day after Martin Luther King Jr.Day; and while King's dream that "people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character" has not been fully realized, nor have the issues of urban poverty been adequately addressed, still the election of this mixed-race man into this nation's highest office is a good step to achieving some semblance of equality in this nation long-divided by issues of race. 

There were many billboards, flyers and signs with the word "HOPE" printed on them.  Some would say that hope cannot pay the bills or put bread on the table.  True, but in the words of Pulitzer Prize and Nobel  Prize-winning American author Pearl S. Buck:  "To eat bread without hope is still slowly to starve to death."  So, in light of crushing debt, high unemployment, the threat of terrorism, two simultaneous foreign wars, and so many other frightening realities; I choose to hope, perhaps against hope itself, for a better future. 

        

Snowzilla Strikes Again!!!

  A 25-foot-tall snowman rampaged through Anchorage's city streets, destroying everything in its path, killing 30 people and causing millions of dollars in damages, before it was melted by a platoon of soldiers wielding flamethrowers! 

Alas, if only the story were so exciting.  Anchorage, Alaska citizen Billy Powers has been building a giant snowman dubbed "Snowzilla" for the past three years in his front yard.  This snowman, besides towering over cars and people, is like any other snowman---with a corncob pipe, a carrot nose, and two eyes made out of...beer bottles.  Now that I think of it, what kind of carrot grows to be three feet long?  Anyway, people have been flocking to Powers' house to pose with Snowzilla and garner some of his holiday cheer.

Enter the Grinch---city officials have deemed Snowzilla a nuisance and a safety hazard; not because of his potential to snatch and devour small children in his icy jaws, but rather the fact that all of the curious onlookers are clogging up city streets.  In official statement by Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich, he said:  "This property owner has repeatedly ignored city attempts to find ways to accomodate his desire to build a giant snowman without affecting the quiet quality of the neighborhood.  This is a neighborhood of small homes on small lots connected by  small streets.  It can't support the volume of traffic and revelers that are interested in Snowzilla." 

Despite the ominous specter of the impending wrath of city hall, Snowzilla sprang forth from Powers' front yard at a whopping 25 feet (up from the previous 16 feet last year).  Powers is pleading ignorance on the matter, suggesting that this miraculous appearance might be attributable to "magic".  However this came about, Powers continues to give the finger to the establishment, giving "THE MAN" a swift kick-in-the-crotch!  Take that, bitch!

Anyway, once this all gets resolved and Snowzilla melts back into oblivion, Anchorage citizens can go back to their peaceful lives that were so rudely interrupted by this snowy abomination.  So what will these Northern ninnies be doing the rest of the year?  Well, watching paint dry, drinking to excess, shooting moose and other wildlife, and genuflecting at the altar of Governor Sarah Palin, of course. 

Barbie bitch slaps Bratz!

A judge in a California federal court recently ruled that Bratz doll maker MGA cease producing the dolls after the holiday shopping season and pull all dolls off the shelves.  This ruling didn't come about because the dolls were too damn slutty; rather, this is a result of a lawsuit that Barbie maker Mattel brought against Bratz designer Carter Bryant because he had developed the doll's concept while working for Mattel.  The jury awarded Mattel $10 million for copyright infringement and up to $90 million for breach of contract.

Well, it looks like mothers will have one less option for giving their preteen daughters a doll that can serve as a model for how to dress like a total slut whorebag hooker.  Yeah, somehow fishnet stockings, halfshirts, miniskirts and bright red lipstick just don't seem like the kinds of things that prepubescent girls should be donning---that is unless they're in a "beauty pageant"...um...but that's a whole other ridiculous story. 

Now that Barbie has won the catfight, mothers can rest assured that young girls everywhere will now have a much more positive role model.  That is, if the image of an impossibly-thin, totally superficial and materialistic queen-bee type is what you want your daughter to aspire to.     

Bush has got sole!

George W. Bush found himself dodging flying shoes in a recent press conference in Iraq, much like the rifle flak American soldiers have been dodging fighting in W.'s damn war for over five years now.  How's it feel, mutherfucka?  Well, it's not quite as perilous, but it is quite an amusing sendoff to the man who got us into this mess in the first place.  Trying to salvage some semblance of a "legacy", Bush's unannounced trip to Iraq, much like Nixon's trip to China in the latter days of his ill-fated presidency, was meant to be a triumphant return to familiar stomping grounds with the signing of an agreement heralding the withdrawl of American forces in 2011.  Instead, an angry Iraqi journalist chucked two shoes at Bush, ruining his Kodak moment. 

When the Iraqi journalist hurled the first shoe, he screamed, "This is a gift from the Iraqis. This is the farewell kiss, you dog!"  The second shoe that he let go was accompanied by an even more heartfelt message:  "This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq."  The reporter's name is Muntadar al-Zaidi, and he works for Al-Baghdadia TV, which is now my favorite channel.

Getting struck with someone's shoe is a huge insult in Iraq, and isn't it ironic that this is the very gesture that angry Iraqis used to assault the statue of deposed dictator Saddam Hussein in April of 2003?  To quote Cypress Hill, "What Go Around Come Around"...BEOTCH! 

Plastic In the Afterlife?

I can't take credit for this title; I actually ripped it from a Beck song entitled "Cyanide Breath Mint" off of his great folk album One Foot In The Grave. One thing about Beck is that he seems to be speaking in stream-of-consciousness gibber-jabber of nonsense, but amidst the seeming wreckage of lyrics, you can find meaning throughout. Here's the song:

"Definitely this is the wrong place to be
There's blood on the futon, there's a kid drinking fire
Going down to the sea, they got people to meet
Shaking hands with themselves, looking out for themselves
When they ask you for credit, give them a branch
When they want you to get it, chew on the grass
I know, I know 'cause they told me to tell you
There's nothing to tell you, there's nothing to sell you
In the afternoon, riding the scapegoat
Burning equipment decomposing
Cool off your jets, take off your sweats
I got a funny feeling they got plastic in the afterlife
When they want you to cry, leap into the sky
When they suck your mind, like a pigeon, you'll fly
I know, I know it's the positive people
Running from their time, looking for some feeling."

Who doesn't need yet another blog with some armchair pundit spouting off his opinions for the world at large? Well, stop the waiting that you've never started---it's here: Plastic In the Afterlife.